A "He's Just Not That Into You" Moment

A conversation between the girls and I a couple weeks ago at a bar.

Me: Who are you calling?
Friend 1: That guy I was telling you about...you know, the one I'm kinda talking to.
Me: Ohhh yeah yeah! I remember. You guys hanging out later tonight?
Friend 1: Well if his phone doesn't ring and goes straight to voice mail, what does that mean? I hate being ignored!
Friend 2: His phone might be dead.
Friend 3: No, I hate to tell you but he might be ignoring your call...
Me: He might just being going through a dead-zone. You should call back and see if it rings now.

WTF. Why do we constantly go through the motions of trying to make sense of something so minuscule as a phone call? Four usually bright girls that can often offer intellectual conversation analyzing a simple phone call and reasons why he's "ignoring" a call. This is the story of many ladies across the world I'm sure. As you can tell from the conversation above, I'm a victim of this over-analyzing problem too. Let's get it together, ladies! Why can't we all just say "He's phone went straight to voice mail." End of story. No need to analyze it. Stop making something so simple into a difficult, unnecessary mess.

If us ladies put that much energy into analyzing this recession we're in, I'm pretty sure solutions for a flourishing economy would be thrown around left and right.

It's not what you know...or who you know...

I just got out of a class lecture where we discussed how important it is to build a strong network. The professor kept stressing "it's not what you know, it's who you know". It seemed the majority of the class agreed because some students elaborated by stating "My friends and I are trying to get internships in New York for the summer, and each of my friends have accepted an internship because they knew someone that helped them out in New York. But I'm still searching and applying because I don't have that network." This struck a chord...

For me, I think networking can be one of two things. It can be 1.) the best tool or 2.) complete bull shit. I don't think it's necessarily about who you know. I think it's more about what these people you know are willing to do for you. You can build your network all you want, and attempt to create a strong relationship with these people but at the end of the day, if this same desire isn't reciprocated from the other party...your network is worthless. For me, I know quite a few people in New York, but still am struggling to find a job post grad. By no means do I assume some one to just hand it to me on a platter, and say "here's a job!". I think I'm doing a lot for myself searching and scouring my network, online job search engines, company websites, etc... But without the right network of people my efforts fall flat. It is so frustrating to know I am so close to my dream and my goal but can't reach it. It is frustrating because I know I'm doing all I can given my shitty network but it's still not enough. Not to mention being in North Carolina not New York adds limitations too.

Perhaps taking a step back, and finding my "gatekeeper" to NYC will help me reset. I'm so blinded right now by my frustrations that I can't see clearly anymore where I am on this journey. Maybe I'm not entirely ready for the city...

Nevertheless, with or without the right network I'm going to figure this out eventually. I might need to reassess my time line, but I am definitely not going to give up that easily.

I Feel Old When...

I begin to feel attracted to a man, but later come to realize that the ring on his left hand finger is not just decorative. Nope, this mister is off the market. Just when I think the search was hard enough, another bonus is added! So, on top of trying to find a decent man, I now have crossed over into finding a decent man that isn't married.

Lesson learned: now that I'm getting older and [supposedly] more mature, I guess I should start paying attention to whether or not a man sports a band around his left hand finger. And by pay attention, I mean before I.......well for lack of a better term "spit my game".

And another one bites the dust...

Dear New York,

Many hours you have kept me up at night yearning to be in your presence. Many sacrifices I've made in preparation to be with you. Many tears I've shed in fear that you will reject me.

And still I try. With each struggle, I try even harder refusing to settle for anything less than you.

And I hope. I hope you will deem me worthy for the undertaking. I hope you will let me proudly wear your name. I hope, New York, that you will make room in your beautiful heart for me.

Is it meant to be between you and I, New York? Show me a sign...

Until then, I will wait until the time comes when you will welcome me with open arms into the greatness, oh the irrefutable greatness, of New York.

xoxo,
NYC Bound

Facebook Fever

Youtubing like usual, I found this hilarious rendition of the point I was trying to make here.

The Little Things in Life

A funny riddle I made up:

When is the only time sloppy seconds are good?

...When you're eating leftovers! Corny, I know (if you haven't already realized it, corny is my nature). But all day today, all I could think about was getting home to eat my leftover Cheesecake Factory. Maybe because I skipped out on breakfast and hadn't eaten anything all day partially contributed to this, but my mind could not be diverted from my spicy chipotle chicken pasta and chocolate cake cheesecake waiting for me in my refrigerator.

mmm...home sweet home!

Self Discovery

Everyday we learn something new about ourselves. It can be as minor as realizing you spend way too much time brushing your teeth, or as major as learning how easily you can write people off. I recently learned both of these in the same day. Both very different subjects, yet similar in that I couldn't initially decide whether either were good or bad realizations.

I mean, by brushing my teeth too long I'm doing no harm. Excessive brushing doesn't cause cavities, does it? I'm no dentist, but I'm pretty certain the only thing I'm losing in this process is time and toothpaste. So essentially this realization isn't quite bad...similar to the latter I've realized about myself. Of course it's silly to parallel these two since they are no way directly related to each other. But hear me out...

Is quickly writing someone off really that harmful? I think it cuts all the bullshit fluff and gets to the bottom line. And what's the bottom line? For me, the amount of energy and care I exert into a relationship is directly proportional to the amount the other person gives. So say for instance someone is an impatient, ignorant bitch that comprehends no concept differing from their own ethnocentric (or self-centric) beliefs (....hypothetically speaking, of course. ;) ). Well guess what? I cut the polite smiling, small talk and awkward silences and just kick them to the curb. Saves time and energy.

It may sound extreme, but I see no problem "brushing" teeth/things/people too much. I try to live my life in a positive light for the most part, and if someone wants to darken that light I have the power to change that effective immediately. Why not start with writing off the people insignificant and detrimental to my goals and faith, with a shining, pearly white smile?