A "He's Just Not That Into You" Moment

A conversation between the girls and I a couple weeks ago at a bar.

Me: Who are you calling?
Friend 1: That guy I was telling you about...you know, the one I'm kinda talking to.
Me: Ohhh yeah yeah! I remember. You guys hanging out later tonight?
Friend 1: Well if his phone doesn't ring and goes straight to voice mail, what does that mean? I hate being ignored!
Friend 2: His phone might be dead.
Friend 3: No, I hate to tell you but he might be ignoring your call...
Me: He might just being going through a dead-zone. You should call back and see if it rings now.

WTF. Why do we constantly go through the motions of trying to make sense of something so minuscule as a phone call? Four usually bright girls that can often offer intellectual conversation analyzing a simple phone call and reasons why he's "ignoring" a call. This is the story of many ladies across the world I'm sure. As you can tell from the conversation above, I'm a victim of this over-analyzing problem too. Let's get it together, ladies! Why can't we all just say "He's phone went straight to voice mail." End of story. No need to analyze it. Stop making something so simple into a difficult, unnecessary mess.

If us ladies put that much energy into analyzing this recession we're in, I'm pretty sure solutions for a flourishing economy would be thrown around left and right.

It's not what you know...or who you know...

I just got out of a class lecture where we discussed how important it is to build a strong network. The professor kept stressing "it's not what you know, it's who you know". It seemed the majority of the class agreed because some students elaborated by stating "My friends and I are trying to get internships in New York for the summer, and each of my friends have accepted an internship because they knew someone that helped them out in New York. But I'm still searching and applying because I don't have that network." This struck a chord...

For me, I think networking can be one of two things. It can be 1.) the best tool or 2.) complete bull shit. I don't think it's necessarily about who you know. I think it's more about what these people you know are willing to do for you. You can build your network all you want, and attempt to create a strong relationship with these people but at the end of the day, if this same desire isn't reciprocated from the other party...your network is worthless. For me, I know quite a few people in New York, but still am struggling to find a job post grad. By no means do I assume some one to just hand it to me on a platter, and say "here's a job!". I think I'm doing a lot for myself searching and scouring my network, online job search engines, company websites, etc... But without the right network of people my efforts fall flat. It is so frustrating to know I am so close to my dream and my goal but can't reach it. It is frustrating because I know I'm doing all I can given my shitty network but it's still not enough. Not to mention being in North Carolina not New York adds limitations too.

Perhaps taking a step back, and finding my "gatekeeper" to NYC will help me reset. I'm so blinded right now by my frustrations that I can't see clearly anymore where I am on this journey. Maybe I'm not entirely ready for the city...

Nevertheless, with or without the right network I'm going to figure this out eventually. I might need to reassess my time line, but I am definitely not going to give up that easily.

I Feel Old When...

I begin to feel attracted to a man, but later come to realize that the ring on his left hand finger is not just decorative. Nope, this mister is off the market. Just when I think the search was hard enough, another bonus is added! So, on top of trying to find a decent man, I now have crossed over into finding a decent man that isn't married.

Lesson learned: now that I'm getting older and [supposedly] more mature, I guess I should start paying attention to whether or not a man sports a band around his left hand finger. And by pay attention, I mean before I.......well for lack of a better term "spit my game".

And another one bites the dust...